Tippy Toes and Tantrums

What to Buy for Teacher Gifts

"What do teachers like to get?" one mom asked during the talk given by teacher Phil Done recently when the subject of holiday gifts came up. Every mom in the room leaned in closer to get the inside scoop. Some grabbed a pen to make sure this moment wasn't missed. Here's what he said:

*Gift certificates, especially to teacher supply stores or art stores because sadly, many teachers buy classroom supplies out of pocket and the gift certificates help.

*Movie passes.

*A card from the parent, even just one line saying the teacher's work is appreciated means a lot.

He said one of the most memorable and greatest gifts was the year his class mom organized a week's worth of lunches for him during the week prior to the holiday break. That last week before the holiday tends to be hectic, making it an especially great week to have someone else take care of lunch. Each day that week a different family brought him lunch and it wasn't boring PB&J, making Done the envy of his fellow teachers.

I am a big fan of the class gift when it comes to buying something for teachers. Going in as a group results in a bigger and better gift for the teacher, but I mostly love group gifts because they are easy. For Rocket's preschool, I wrote one check to the mom taking care of the gift for his three teachers, letting me cross off three gifts in well under a minute. For Clover's class, I'm the person collecting for the gift.

Done's list made me feel particularly good because we've always done gift cards and I write a note to the teachers at the end of each year. Last year our class gave Clover's teachers Amex gift cards, which seem to be a popular teacher gift around here. However, afterward I polled a few teachers and they unanimously agreed on the best gift: cash money.

Cash feels tacky and kind of weird. I should note that Clover's school does not issue grades, so there's no feeling of payola or preferential treatment when it comes to giving gifts. Amex or similar cards have fees and are frequently difficult to use in their entirety, making them more of a headache than cash, the teachers told me. So following their suggestion, we're giving cash. Plus a laundry basket because boy, that room really needs one.

Picking a Winner

The school chorus sang for the crowd today at Grandparents Day. Before Clover and her friends walked on stage, I quietly told them not to pick their noses, which doesn't exactly make me the Lou Holtz of pre-performance pep talks, but it's a necessary reminder for that age, as anyone who has gone to a children's performance of any kind can attest. There is always one kid who does a little digging on stage, but not today! Victory!

THE BUSYBODYBOOK GIVEAWAY!

Research Randomizer Results

1 Set of 1 Unique Numbers Per Set
Range: From 1 to 10 -- Unsorted

Set #1

3

Marty/canape is the winner of the BusyBodyBook giveaway! She recently wrote about how she uses it for meal planning, which is probably what I should be using mine for too. Instead I'm sitting here debating what to do for dinner at 5 p.m. Yeah, maybe.

The Happy Hobbit

As we walked into Gilroy Gardens, we passed the Middle Earth displays set up by various community groups as part of the November theme. Apparently Middle Earth is Hell because many of the displays were really spooky, making me wonder if they were recycled haunted house decorations and less about wizards and elves. That was until I saw one smiling guy, the most pleasant of the bunch. I walked closer to see the name of his sponsor. Girl Scouts? A church group?

Mental Health Services. Go figure.

Big Game Prep

Picked up at Costco. We're ready to root on the Cardinal!

This Dog is Nuts

Really, she probably needs doggie Prozac, but she's a good dog, in her own neurotic way.

The other day I was going through photos to complete a homework assignment for Rocket (age three and I'm already doing his homework. I figure it's the first of about a thousand homework assignments I'll end up doing for him), and we did not have any pictures of Maddie. Well there is one where her body is in the picture, but not her face, so that doesn't count. There are five and a half years of photos on this computer and not one is focused on Maddie. Maybe instead of being crazy, she's just depressed from being overlooked. (No, she's crazy.)

Keep Your Child Safe on the Internet By Not Freaking Out

It is highly, highly unlikely anyone is going to track down your young child from a picture on the internet or a blog post to do them any harm. The message given to mom bloggers during an internet safety talk reminded me of when I took newborn Clover to the pediatrician. I was worried about everything - is she going to roll her tightly swaddled body over in her bassinet and suffocate? will one of our dogs sit on her, causing her to suffocate? will she grow or is she going to be a little person? - until her doctor calmly said, "Rare things happen...rarely." I have repeated that to myself numerous times as a parent and it's been surprisingly effective at calming me down. I went into the internet safety talk sponsored by Leapfrog expecting to be told that the photos of my kids would end of on some pervert's site and that anyone with Google and a few minutes could figure out sensitive information, such as where they go to school, from info put out on my blog. Thankfully the message I took from the Leapfrog talk was to calm down.

Pedophiles after young kids are not likely targeting them online because if a young child is on the computer, they generally (hopefully!) have a parent nearby, according to internet safety expert Larry Magid. Adolescents have more privacy, therefore are the more likely target for a predator, but even that risk has been exaggerated a bit. Online solicitation of adolescents is much more likely to come from other teens than the creepy man snagged on Dateline NBC. There are bigger online concerns, such as too much screen time, commercialism, cyberbullying, accidental porn exposure, sexting...the list goes on.

The bigger concerns come as children get older, but as with most things, it's best to lay the foundation for the bigger talks now, when children (at least my children) are younger. If you see something that bothers you, say a violent or otherwise inappropriate advertisement, tell you kids why you are bothered by it. Magid used an example of song lyrics, saying his children could listen to any music they wanted, but in the car when everyone could hear it. When listening to Eminem with his daughter, he asked her about the misogynistic lyrics and gently pushed her somewhat acceptance of the word bitch and other descriptions. She blew it off at the time, but years later she told him she thought he was right. The point was that kids are listening, even when they disagree.

Magid's quick age/computer privacy guideline looks like this:
ages 2-4 - be with them when they are on the computer
ages 4-7 - be close by, check in
ages 10-12 - managed independence
ages 12-14 - privacy concerns, make sure kids aren't oversharing, etc.

One thing that surprised me was that we should put a filtering program on our computers now, even though Clover is only six years old. Clover gets very little computer time - and Rocket gets zero, despite always yelling out "pbskids.com" or just adding "dot com!" to the end of random sentences - and I'm always nearby, but Magid talked about something I'd never thought about before: accidental exposure to porn or other adult sites. Accidental exposure tends to be more damaging and upsetting than stuff sought out by older kids and teens, according to Magid. Everything has controls, from game consoles to cell phone - though it may not be advertised by carriers. There are controls that block sites or just prevent your phone number from being entered online. However, Magid is not a fan of stealthy monitoring. He said it should always be out in the open, so your kids know what you are concerned about and what you're looking out for. He suggested that parents prepare for that moment when the software detects something you find inappropriate and he didn't mean when you find your teenage son looking at naked women because if that comes as a shock, wake up (my point, not Magid's). He said there's a lot of violence in porn and just stuff that not everyone thinks is appropriate to act out as an adult and you should have a plan to discuss when you find something you don't like, generally through a quick, casual conversation where you explain why you think it was inappropriate. His advice was not to overreact, which is something I find hard in almost all situations.

The presentation from the talk can be downloaded here: www.safekids.com/mommy.ppt.

Foreign Land

At BowlHer, the bartender told me the party covered domestic beers.

Me: Okay, Sierra Nevada please.

Her: No, domestic.

Um?

Like Coors, Budweiser, Miller or Sam Adams Light.

Sam Adams Light.

Lesson - only macrobrews are domestic or California is considered foreign in the Midwest.

Marketing to Women: Ford Gets it Right

A stripped down, wired up car skeleton

When offered the chance to fly out to Chicago a day early, I jumped. Part of it - okay maybe a large part of it - was because my kids were fighting and this offer from Ford would mean an additional night alone at a hotel. The other part was because I thought it would be exciting as I pictured myself wearing a race car driver's helmet and mic (to communicate with my pit crew, of course), barreling brand new Ford cars around an empty raceway. So that did not happen, but the day was much more informative than I had imagined. Ford managed to do something right where most companies stumble and fail: they pitched their products to women in a way that was intellectually engaging and encouraged open dialogue between the company and consumers. 

Ford talked to us about innovations and alterations that are in response to what the modern consumer wants. Sustainability was a big part of this. Ford is using more sustainable materials, such as soy-based foam seat cushions, different soy flour and soy meal (soy bean byproducts) to make rubberized parts like floor mats and also considering hemp. These materials would be replacing ones traditionally made with petroleum products. While hemp parts would make the car much lighter - therefore more fuel efficient - U.S. growing prohibitions make supply a serious challenge.

We were shown newer technologies like computer-assisted parallel parking (seriously amazing), front looking radar with adaptive cruise control (Ford is confident their version is better than the others on the market, making the adaptivity so seamless that the driver may not be aware that it is happening), collision warnings, rear radar for blind spot assistance, cross traffic alerts (making it great for pulling out of blind parking spaces). The technological improvements are great, not just for moms distracted by a loud car full of kids, but for older people too. When Ford introduced a capless fuel tank in some models, the positive feedback was better than expected. Not only is it one fewer thing to lose or fiddle with, it's a big help for those with arthritis who may have trouble opening a standard fuel cap.

Some changes didn't appeal to me, like having engine sound piped into the car. I don't need people on the street to be impressed by the perceived power of my car; I just want a solid, reliable, safe car.

Another thing was the "gaming" aspect of the hybrids, which includes a vine on the control panel where leaves grow as the car's efficiency increases. Leaves grew as I used the brakes, but then slowly disappeared as I used the gas, which brought out my competitive side and unfortunately I became a little more preoccupied with growing leaves than with paying attention to the road. However, this could be one of those features that initially are interesting, but fade into the background after using the car for awhile.

Ford brought out some of its top female executives and researchers to interact with us, a move that I doubt was coincidental. Still, it was fabulous to hear from the female employees responsible for some of these innovations. Also great was during unscripted times when the women talked about working for Ford and working in a male-dominated environment. They were upbeat and positive, several told us about family-friendly policies. For instance, a few of the women did not work five days a week. Ford allowed them to scale back their work time to have more time at home with their children. (And that had nothing to do with the recent economic downturn.)

We got a factory tour to show us how cars were made (my son would have loved this). Then finally the day ended with Ford asking for suggested improvements to their cars and not only did it feel like they were listening, but some really good suggestions were made. This was not the condescending cup holder talk normally given to women. One blogger suggested a control indicating there was someone in the back seat - a body heat sensor, possibly - to help avoid tragedies where young children are forgotten in the backseat.

This tag was explained as a interior trunk opener, in case you get "stuck" in the trunk. I guess they didn't want to say "in case you are kidnapped by a psycho-killer," but that's what they meant. Even the little figure is running for its life.

The day was excellent. When we next buy new cars, I can't say that we would certainly buy Ford, but after this experience, we would give their cars serious consideration. I would not have said that before this event.

There was one disappointment. The talk of commitment to sustainability was undercut by this:

One of the garbage cans after lunch. There was no recycling. Ford, get with the recycling program. Not just cans and plastic at lunch, but cardboard and other potential recyclables in your factory. Don't miss another cultural shift.

(Disclaimer: Ford paid for one night in a hotel in order for me to attend this event. Also, apologies for the iPhone photo quality.)

A Quick + Dirty Compact Mirror Tutorial for Hand Press Users

When I sat down to make my first compact mirror using my 2 1/4" button maker hand press, I very quickly realized I didn't have directions...or a clue. I was able to figure it out after an internet search, but all directions were geared toward bench press button makers, which have some key differences. I took a few pictures as I worked (it was morning, please forgive the darkness) in case someone is stuck in the same position.

(These are all using my Badge-a-Minit 2 1/4" hand press - directions for other models may vary. I bought my supplies from buybuttonparts.com because their prices and service are excellent.)

The first steps are the same as making a button - follow those directions to do the picture side of the mirror.

After flipping the assembly rings so that the image is downward (normally the step when the pin backing would be added) first add the shim, bent at an angle no more than 45 degrees. My first two attempts fell apart because I was bending the shim a little too much. I found that closer to 35-40 degrees worked best.

Add the mirror, reflective side up, then place the ring on top, resting gently on the mirror.

Close up as you normally would,

and crimp. Don't hold back. I haven't broken a mirror yet, keeping my luck intact.

The final product:

The Only Thing Sliding is Bedtime

Summer lawn mowers - the white dots are goats

Right before summer break, I make an annual trip to a local teacher's supply store to stock up on craft supplies, wide lined paper, pencil grips and other tools to get us through the summer. As I paid, a display of summer bridge books caught my eye and I almost went to go pick one up, but then I thought that Clover's only six, so there's not a lot of pertinent information that I need to worry about her losing over the summer, especially since she spends every spare moment with her nose buried in a book.

After seeing the books, I started hearing or reading about the feared summer slide almost everywhere I went and consequently my fear grew with the more I read until I finally stopped to think about it. Clover loves to read and write, so that's safe, math could be a worry, but she's been playing math games online that help. I could only think of one area of concern: Spanish. Of course this is the hardest place to help her as my two years in high school don't make me exactly fluent or even conversationally capable. (But I can make sure food doesn't contain cheese, which comes in handy when you're in Spain with your lactose intolerant husband. Also the cashiers speak to me in Spanish at the Latino market and I take that as a huge compliment to mean that I look bilingual even if the cashiers are really just playing the odds since most people shopping there speak Spanish.)

Clover's in a summer Spanish class, but she isn't thrilled about it. In the Spring, I gave her the catalog of summer classes offered at her school and she picked a few like organic gardening, an animals class, and how to put together a newspaper. She ignored Spanish, but I didn't. About a week ago she asked, inadvertently using the casual voice of the annoying boss from Office Space,  "Ummm, who signed me up for Spanish?" I responded with "me," and she said, "Ummm, yeaaahhh. I don't remember picking Spanish out." "You didn't. I did." "Oookkaay, see I didn't want Spanish." "It was non negotiable." She concluded with a long, pained sigh and walked out of the room with her shoulder slumped.

Crisis averted for this year, but I assume the problem gets bigger as the kids get older and learn more complicated information during the school year that they don't want to practice during the summer. Clover has a little quirk that I hope she doesn't outgrow for a long time: she loves workbooks. When those chunky workbooks show up a few times a year at Costco, I always buy one or two (her grade and the grade ahead) and I buy more from Amazon when needed. She thinks they're a fun way to spend an afternoon and I'm not about to point out the super nerdiness of it all.

The key to Clover's love of workbooks and reading is that it isn't required. I love that her school doesn't have homework in the early years and they certainly don't have summer work either. Without anything required of her, workbooks and reading are simply fun. Clover likes Spanish class, especially the activities like cooking and pinata making, even if she doesn't always want to acknowledge it. She announced after school the other day that she was going to make us empanadas for dinner. Que? However, the only thing that makes her sour about Spanish is that I'm making her do it. To her, it's forced upon her, so inherently less fun.

Until ineffective, during summer breaks we will continue to use our school year approach of striving to make learning fun and engaging.  Now if I can only make potty training fun, then Rocket will be on his way.