Tippy Toes and Tantrums

Rip it Off Like a Band-Aid and Eat it Off the Floor

This is the craziest time of the year. Every start of August, it's BlogHer, followed immediately by our annual camping trip. I don't control the dates for either event, so this is how it has to be. A friend talked to me recently about trying to get the camping trip moved a little to ease my stress, but because some of the families with whom we camp begin school next week, the dates are locked in. And even if we could move the camping trip back a day, sometimes it's better to do it all quickly, at once, like ripping off a Band-Aid. That analogy must make the people I travel with feel great.

I love both trips, but both are exhausting. This year BlogHer was even more of an energy drain as I thought it would be wise to turn it into a family vacation. I have no idea why I thought this would be a good idea. Seriously, what is wrong with me? There was no break, no quiet, no downtime. There was jumping, fighting, hitting, and squealing, instead, both inside and out of my hotel room. Plus, a flash mob. And enough Twizzlers to build a bridge (or at least a replica). I am tired and dirty, yet the camping trip has not begun.

Soon after the camping trip, the kids are going to nonnie's house, to give me a break from questions about "accidentally" eating something off the floor and how it crunched, so did I think it was pizza crust? Nor do I need to make sure no one is sneaking a book into the shower. (Both incidents involved the same person and happened within the last five minutes.)

Jesus.

August, In Chaos

One day, we'll look back and think it wasn't a mistake to go directly from this:

 

to this:

 

to this:

 

But right now, I'm doing my best to stay afloat. It will get easier next week. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

Foreign Land

At BowlHer, the bartender told me the party covered domestic beers.

Me: Okay, Sierra Nevada please.

Her: No, domestic.

Um?

Like Coors, Budweiser, Miller or Sam Adams Light.

Sam Adams Light.

Lesson - only macrobrews are domestic or California is considered foreign in the Midwest.

Marketing to Women: Ford Gets it Right

A stripped down, wired up car skeleton

When offered the chance to fly out to Chicago a day early, I jumped. Part of it - okay maybe a large part of it - was because my kids were fighting and this offer from Ford would mean an additional night alone at a hotel. The other part was because I thought it would be exciting as I pictured myself wearing a race car driver's helmet and mic (to communicate with my pit crew, of course), barreling brand new Ford cars around an empty raceway. So that did not happen, but the day was much more informative than I had imagined. Ford managed to do something right where most companies stumble and fail: they pitched their products to women in a way that was intellectually engaging and encouraged open dialogue between the company and consumers. 

Ford talked to us about innovations and alterations that are in response to what the modern consumer wants. Sustainability was a big part of this. Ford is using more sustainable materials, such as soy-based foam seat cushions, different soy flour and soy meal (soy bean byproducts) to make rubberized parts like floor mats and also considering hemp. These materials would be replacing ones traditionally made with petroleum products. While hemp parts would make the car much lighter - therefore more fuel efficient - U.S. growing prohibitions make supply a serious challenge.

We were shown newer technologies like computer-assisted parallel parking (seriously amazing), front looking radar with adaptive cruise control (Ford is confident their version is better than the others on the market, making the adaptivity so seamless that the driver may not be aware that it is happening), collision warnings, rear radar for blind spot assistance, cross traffic alerts (making it great for pulling out of blind parking spaces). The technological improvements are great, not just for moms distracted by a loud car full of kids, but for older people too. When Ford introduced a capless fuel tank in some models, the positive feedback was better than expected. Not only is it one fewer thing to lose or fiddle with, it's a big help for those with arthritis who may have trouble opening a standard fuel cap.

Some changes didn't appeal to me, like having engine sound piped into the car. I don't need people on the street to be impressed by the perceived power of my car; I just want a solid, reliable, safe car.

Another thing was the "gaming" aspect of the hybrids, which includes a vine on the control panel where leaves grow as the car's efficiency increases. Leaves grew as I used the brakes, but then slowly disappeared as I used the gas, which brought out my competitive side and unfortunately I became a little more preoccupied with growing leaves than with paying attention to the road. However, this could be one of those features that initially are interesting, but fade into the background after using the car for awhile.

Ford brought out some of its top female executives and researchers to interact with us, a move that I doubt was coincidental. Still, it was fabulous to hear from the female employees responsible for some of these innovations. Also great was during unscripted times when the women talked about working for Ford and working in a male-dominated environment. They were upbeat and positive, several told us about family-friendly policies. For instance, a few of the women did not work five days a week. Ford allowed them to scale back their work time to have more time at home with their children. (And that had nothing to do with the recent economic downturn.)

We got a factory tour to show us how cars were made (my son would have loved this). Then finally the day ended with Ford asking for suggested improvements to their cars and not only did it feel like they were listening, but some really good suggestions were made. This was not the condescending cup holder talk normally given to women. One blogger suggested a control indicating there was someone in the back seat - a body heat sensor, possibly - to help avoid tragedies where young children are forgotten in the backseat.

This tag was explained as a interior trunk opener, in case you get "stuck" in the trunk. I guess they didn't want to say "in case you are kidnapped by a psycho-killer," but that's what they meant. Even the little figure is running for its life.

The day was excellent. When we next buy new cars, I can't say that we would certainly buy Ford, but after this experience, we would give their cars serious consideration. I would not have said that before this event.

There was one disappointment. The talk of commitment to sustainability was undercut by this:

One of the garbage cans after lunch. There was no recycling. Ford, get with the recycling program. Not just cans and plastic at lunch, but cardboard and other potential recyclables in your factory. Don't miss another cultural shift.

(Disclaimer: Ford paid for one night in a hotel in order for me to attend this event. Also, apologies for the iPhone photo quality.)

BlogHer 09: What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Okay, so BlogHer...yes it was fun, yes the swag parties (almost wrote stag parties) got out of hand, yes next year I'm not going to even think about swag beyond what comes in the BlogHer bag, yes it was crowded and more impersonal than last year, yes too many panels were in rooms too small, locking out those interested (me! once you're outside the room, 10 deep in the hallway, unable to hear, it's time to give up and walk away), yes, the lack of properly functioning wireless at the Sheraton was shameful, no the Geek Lab wasn't geeky enough and finally, yes 38 year old tummies don't appreciate cheeseburgers on top of booze in the same way a 20 year old tummy does. But it's over and I'm over it, other than the stack of business cards next to my computer.

Meeting new people or catching up with friends is one of the biggest highlights of BlogHer. BlogHer seems to hit its stride on Friday nights, when people are settled in and more comfortable with one another. One surprise was that I found more people connecting over Twitter handles than blogs. It was much more likely for someone to say "I've seen you on Twitter!" or "I follow you on Twitter!" than to say they know a blog. Does this mean mircoblogging is becoming more common and blogging is really only for times when there is a larger thought to express? Regardless, next year BlogHer should add an avatar to the name badge because that would be the fastest way to identify people.

I missed my kids, but only at times. When I talked to them on the phone, the kids who at home sound pretty mature, sounded like babies. Listening to Rocket in a voice that made me appreciate how really little he is, made me cry.

The most memorable swag was a tiara and a pink boa, given out at fun parties. I think I called a bunch of BlogHer parties beautiful, which made me sound 80 years old, but they were fun and nicely done, making beautiful the best descriptive word I could come up with in my post-party state. My kids loved the two tiny tubs of Playdoh snagged from the expo. We already have a ton of Playdoh at home, not to mention, these tubs are a buck a pop at Target, but my kids thought they were the greatest souvenir ever. Before I left for Chicago, Clover asked for a postcard and said with big eyes, "I know you'll get it done," which forced me to leave the conference in search for postcards that I could write and mail immediately. When hers arrived, she shrugged her shoulders and tossed it on the table. Postcards that were begged for? Meh. Playdoh we already have? Woo hoo!

Chicago is way behind the curve on recycling or maybe California is that far ahead. I was disappointed. There was a card on my nightstand that I expected to say something like "Help us conserve water. Reuse your towels." A standard hotel room sign. Instead it was a reminder that the hotel recently went nonsmoking and that a fine would be levied for any hint of smoking in the room. Time warp. Although there was Midwestern fun: a tricked out bowling alley right downtown and the Good Humor truck parked outside of the hotel each night.

One of the greatest moments of the week came at check out when I looked up my balance due and it said $0. Many thanks to Yahoo! and to Ford for making this happen for me. I am very grateful.

BlogHer: As Seen Through My Crappy iPhone Camera

When I see blurry photos on blogs, I always wonder if the author realized the photo was blurry or if s/he thought it was still good enough to tell the story anyway. I wouldn't do such a thing, I'd tell myself...that is until now. The iPhone was no match for BlogHer, but there was no way I was going to lug around my nice SLR in addition to the other stuff I had to carry. And even if I had my Canon in hand, I'm no Carla Duharte-Razura, who is incredibly talented in many ways (including bracelet procurement, but that is another story).

Yahoo! bought me this drink. The real cherry on top is that they also bought my trip.

Nuzzles from the Michelin Man.

The Wiener Mobile! The license plate reads "Big Bun." A sense of humor is a must if you're in the wiener business.

Carson, shirtless after Cat worked her magic.

Paula Deen, after much delay.

Tim Gunn, near the most phallic ad at a women's conference. Stick it and forget it, alright.

Ironically, not one thing is in focus in this picture from the Shutter Sisters party.

More blur from the awesome CheeseburgHer party.

My thoughts on BlogHer will follow, once I am able to locate them.

Chicago Bound

I've packed up and am heading to BlogHer for five child-free days of bliss. The irony is that I'll miss the kids like mad, even though I've been counting down to this break for weeks...okay, months.

Tomorrow I'll be driving and talking with Ford about what women want in a car. Oh yeah, what do women want? Following Kevin's dream, I cannot wait for cars to be computer driven and I hope we hear about some steps toward that tomorrow. I'd also like a child-silencing device, kind of like a limo privacy partition, but invisible, so the kids don't realize I'm using it.

After that it will be a lot of parties punctuated by a few blogging sessions. Pictures - hopefully in focus - will follow. I'm not bringing my "real" camera due to the weight and am therefore relying on my iPhone, which is far from ideal, but much more convenient.

Much, much thanks to Yahoo! for helping (a lot) to make this happen for me.

I Love Blogging, BlogHer and Mabel's Labels...Basically Everybody

When I was at last Friday's BlogHer party, where I did not win a prize, but as usual was standing next to the person who did, I met a guy who asked me why I blogged. I gave him my reflexive answer, which is that I used to be a reporter - a real, paid-a-living-wage-to-write person - but quit when I realized I couldn't work full-time and feed a baby sufficiently so that she'd stop crying long enough for me to call someone for an interview. Typing while wearing a sling is not as easy as it sounds, either. After my daughter's sleepy head conked into the desk a few times, restarting the crying, I started to lose my mind just a little.

A blog is the first step back into the real writing world, I said. I have a (self imposed) deadline and people make unsolicited cranky comments about content. Minus the paycheck, it is pretty much like work.

While that's true and the reason I finally took out my credit card to open a Typepad account, the precursor was that I read blogs for years and I was finally ready to join in. I still remember the first blog I found in 2000 when searching online - pre-"Googling" - for a specific storage bin. (And I still read and love Jenny's blog.) After reading blogs for so long, I felt that I was missing out of part of the exchange by not writing myself. Like many other bloggers would attest, there is a whole community out there that blogging has allowed me to tap into. I've made a lot of friends, read sad stories and inspiring stories, been made to feel better about my parenting or more often than not, motivated to be a better parent, been invited to fun parties and been given some great stuff to try out. It evolved into so much more than I expected. Several times my husband has said "Who would have thought that blogging would have led to...(fill in the blank of the awesome stuff that has happened)...?" The Disney party? City Mama's Wii parties? The professional head shots? The party at Guy Kawasaki's house? It has all been positive, even if it does take a day or two to shake off a really biting comment.

Trying to remember a project I did with my kids last year, I Googled for some of the keywords and to my surprise, my post came up, bringing me to another unexpected benefit: a journal of my kids' early years. I'm no Doogie Howser with insightful entries full of thoughtful life lessons and some of my posts are likely to make me and/or mostly my kids cringe when they are older, but it's there, a living record of how we spent these years. I have no idea what my mother did during the day when she was home with me and my two sisters - other than watch General Hospital and fold clothes, because that is one of my strongest childhood memories: the ambulance at the start of General Hospital while my mom sat on the couch folding wash cloths. But my kids will be able to read my version of our lives and I hope that I will be able to re-read my posts when I am old and dementia has set in. Conversely, I fear my kids will print everything out and hand it to a therapist as background material explaining what went wrong.

It ends up that the project I did with my kids was two years ago, which makes me even happier that I have been documenting the time, because it passes quickly. Now I need to go talk to my husband, who is undoubtedly stuck on the first line above when I said I met a guy at the party Friday night.

This post was for a contest being run by Mabel's Labels to send one blogger to BlogHer, which is equivalent to a spa weekend for a mommy blogger. I have four sets of Mabel's Labels - two for each kid: one set with first name only, the other set with both first and last, because I am neurotic like that - and I love them, so I would especially love to blog for them this summer.

BlogHer Freecycle

One month later, I have finally sorted through my BlogHer swag bags. This is a reminder to myself to follow that omnipresent organizational tip of touching something only once. Basically, pick it up and deal with it right away. Don't let it sit on the floor of your bedroom, causing kids to trip over it, vacuums to go around it, curses to be uttered, etc. for one month until you get so bothered by the stress of having to look at it that you have to give up rare free time to deal with it. You may want to take a nap during that rare free time instead.

I made some piles of different stuff, but then my sister came over and took some things for herself, lessening the loot. She grabbed a manicure kit right out of my hands and then finally expressed some interest in BlogHer, asking if she could go next year too. Free swag makes friends.

 

So here it is friends. Three groups of stuff up for grabs. If more than one person wants something, I'll draw a name Friday at 3 p.m. pst when I return from our annual mom and kids camping trip.

Saving Grace t-shirt (grey, size M, says "Embrace Your Grace," DVDs with the season premieres of The Closer and Saving Grace, a set of four wine glass marker things with sayings from both of those shows, a box of Good & Plenty and dark chocolate Raisinets.

Saving Grace t-shirt (grey, size M, says "Embrace Your Grace," DVDs with the season premieres of The Closer and Saving Grace, Orville Redenbacher Smart Pop microwave popcorn, dark chocolate Raisinets

Whiter Image ToGo Teeth Whitening Pen (an official product of Trump Spa in Las Vegas, I can't decide if that is a good or bad thing), a certificate for a free pair of underwear from HerRoom.com, tiny samples of Annick Goutal's Petite Cherie perfume, Estee Lauder's Re-Nutriv, two DentaBurst teeth cleaners, Soap Nuts (I had consumed a few cocktails by the time I got the explanation on how these work, but do I remember at the time it seemed amazing and mind boggling. That is to serve as a disclaimer if they are actually strange and lame, but I think they will stand up as being cool.), Mr. David's Jump in the Jumpy House CD, Brothers All Natural Banana Crisps, a Pistachi-Oh! bar from Weil/Nature's Path Organics, and of course, dark chocolate Raisinets.

Is Whiter Image really the best company name?

Time to Move On + Less Than a Year to BlogHer 09!

I need about a week to bounce back from this past weekend, but having little kids is not conducive to a break, so back to real life it is. Because my brain is still fuzzy and I have to keep stopping Rocket from trying to climb into the refrigerator, I'm relying on bullet points, which are lame except when you have the attention span of a gnat, as I do. In fact, right after I wrote that, I got distracted and almost lost this, all of this progress that I have already made on this post.

* The Kirtsy/Alltop party was nice. Really nice. As much as I was thrilled to be away from my kids, they would have loved this party, as Guy Kawasaki's house is truly a kids' paradise. And in a nice way, not a creepy way like Neverland Ranch.

* The rest of the night was a blur of parties and people. Everyone was so nice and it was fun to see people whom I had only seen on the internet before. I am 100% certain I came off as a buffoon.

Bonggamom is awesome. I wanted to hold her hand like a lost child as she led me around. She made Thursday night so much fun and none of it would have been possible without Mod*Mom, who is hip, cool and also very kind.

I missed the first breakout session on Friday because I found the Sesame Street room. Oh my god! Abby Cadabby was there along with Grover. Abby is incredibly funny and conversational and for the second (and final) time, I really wished my kids were there. For the kids that did come into the room, Abby showered them with love and attention, making the kids glow with happiness. Sesame Street was filmed each mom with one of the characters in front of a Sesame Street backdrop. I talked with Grover and he said hello to both of my kids by name and at that point, I wanted to cry with joy. When I returned home on Sunday, I immediately showed the kids and they loved it. Rocket had some trouble wrapping his mind around it. He'd look at the screen, look at me, back to the screen, etc., first saying "mommy?" then "mommy!" (I first thought I'd upload it, but later in the day made it to the privacy session - really just to see Crystal and it was worth it - and since it does mention my kids real names, I've decided against it.)

Sesame Street also had the best snacks. I nabbed some cookies to take home to my kids and while I intended to bring some cupcakes home too, they did not make it. I could say they got smashed in my bags, but that wouldn't be true.

I tried to duck into an ongoing session, but picked political opinion writing and soon after sitting down, the speaker asked the crowd what a lede/lead was and then said she was going to have everyone practice writing one. I left, smug in the fact that I went to journalism school and that meant I could take a break.

Free Bluetooth earpiece!

I skipped the last session of the day to hang out in my quiet hotel room. It was so nice to sit quietly without anyone whining or climbing on me. It was also a really good Big Bird cupcake.

Party and head shots with Silicon Valley Moms Blogs at Saks. I had my makeup done by the Armani makeup artist who I can say with 100% certainty - even though we did not discuss it - imagines himself working with the contestants and models as a consultant on Project Runway. He asked about my moisturizer and I hated to say Neutrogena because I knew he'd disapprove, but he really made the most foul face in response that was a stronger reaction that I expected. He jabbed me in the eyes several times with the makeup brush and then sneered that I "should stop using my...NOXEMA!" The last part came out in a hiss. I haven't used Noxema since I was about 13 and while I wanted to correct him, he probably considers Noxema and Neutorgena the same thing, so I let it go, knowing I would not win.

There were about seven or eight makeup people, but only one hair stylist. Drama ensued.

As we left the event, we tried to give away special coupons we'd received at the party for 15% off. The idea was offered as a quick way to generate good karma, but the people who we approached to give our coupons all acted like we were handing out religious pamphlets. One lady physically jumped back about three feet while grabbing her purse. The women spraying perfume samples get a more welcome customer reaction.

Party at Blue Sky with the always funny Robyn and Lia. Also with Kelsey, who looks like a younger, hotter Sarah Jessica Parker. Free nail polish! (If you didn't get yours, please contact Robyn.)

We left the party early - I went to meet Kevin, while everyone else went to the movies - which meant I needed to meet my two drink minimum in a hurry (because leaving a ticket behind would be wasting and I hate waste) only to grab Evany in a boozy haze outside the door and yell "I LOVE YOUR CARPOOL DISPATCHES!"

Maggie Mason is gorgeous. Seriously. I love Mighty Girl, which means I'd seen her picture before and knew she was pretty, but really, she is a knock out. And the cool, funny best girlfriend everyone wants.

Evany is pee your pants funny and was also very kind about the drunken run in the night before.

Sarah is as funny as I had imagined, which kind of sounds like an insult, but I imagined her very funny and she is. I can't wait for her book.

Me Ra Koh, oh my god! I almost didn't go to this panel, but it was easily the highlight of the weekend. Her photos are so beautiful, they make me want to cry. She took technical photography principles and made them so easy to understand in the most conversational way. She was so great that I am going to look into her DVDs. She was selling them at the swap meet before the panel, but I was so focused on Annie, Jen Lemen and trying to determine if a Superhero necklace would look horrible on my thick neck while slammed like sardines into a steam room, that I missed the photography DVDs. I also missed meeting Shannon, who is in my mom's group.

Me Ra is also gorgeous and it was fun to see how she interacted with her husband, with whom she works. I love her.

I'm running out of steam on this...

I left the closing keynote with Heather Armstrong slightly early to meet Kevin at Michael Mina. The couple at the table next to us documented their entire experience - not in a blog way, but in a huge Food Network fan way - which meant flashes were constantly going off in my eye. Also the table behind us featured a very wealthy looking couple where the beautiful wife was maybe my age and the homely husband was maybe my dad's age. When I pointed it out to Kevin, he responded with "wealthy old man with a younger, hotter wife? No, you don't see that around here much."

I skipped the SVMoms/Momocrats breakfast so I could sleep in, yet I only made it to 8:30, and then I regretted missing the breakfast. My kids have ruined sleep for me, even when they are not around.

I woke up to an email that another post of mine was picked up for syndication. Yay!

I love Michelle. Or as I referred to her when telling Kevin about my time, My New Friend Michelle! (Exclamation mark always included.)

There are a million things I am leaving out - including myriad huge bags of swag - but now that I have Rocket distracted, the dog is acting up. My imaginary working memoir title is now "If Not the Kid, Then the Dog."