Tippy Toes and Tantrums

Sick and Tired with the Sick and Tired

Early this morning I headed out to the grocery store to get Saltines and 7-Up, because while we're very lucky that our kids rarely get sick, when it does happen, we are never prepared. I hurried to the store before Kevin left for work, throwing on dirty jeans and putting my hair back in a pony tail. Mascara was smeared under my eyes and I had blue paint on my hands and arms after a long weekend of home improvement here and at my sister's new house. I looked like hell, but I was just happy that I remembered to put on a bra before rushing out the door. The grocery clerk looked at me with a smile and asked if I was on my way to work. I wanted to take a step back, let her really take me in, then ask her where she thought I worked, where looking like this would be acceptable. A windowless call center? Prison?

My sister and her husband got their first house last week, and we spent the weekend taping, sanding, painting, and inhaling the Simple Green that my sister was spraying liberally everywhere, with one day off to work on my own house, which needs to be packed up and emptied before the remodel begins. We have so much stuff, and in the end, this will have been a great exercise in downsizing, but in the meantime: boxes everywhere. My new hobby is panic attacks.

In the last week:

I helped drive my daughter and classmates on a camping trip that was later cut short by one day to high wind. Clover came home upset that the trip ended early, and this was somehow my fault based on how angry she was with me. In grade school, I loved books with obvious foreshadowing, but as an adult, experiencing the foreshadowing for the teenage years isn't fun. I'd rather it come on as a sneak attack.

I drove to five stores in order to find name brand Wiffle bat sets and Nerf footballs. Last summer, Cape Cod was lousy with Wiffle balls and bats, but here, all I could find is branded, thick bats that look more like something from the Flinstones than a baseball bat. What's up with that, California? But success happened! We are ready for a summer of Wiffle ball and touch football. 

Softball ended, Girl Scouts is wrapping up today, and there are only three more weeks of baseball. I love this time of year.

I cannot get any work done today with the incessant sounds of Cartoon Network blaring for the sick kid's entertainment. I'm consoling myself with 7-Up and crackers. 

Coming Up for Air After Maker Faire 2012

We're in Maker Faire recovery today. We had a great day at the Maker Faire, but for the first time, I don't think that I saw nearly everything. I mean, it's almost impossible to really experience everything the Maker Faire has to offer in a single day, but I missed an entire outdoor area. 

Time moved really fast this year for some reason. Another limit was that we went on Sunday, which closes at 6 p.m., and several exhibits packed up early. We usually go on Saturday, which ends at 8 p.m. Sunday felt less crowded than Saturday (except in the Expo, which was a madhouse) and it seemed like there were more families on Sunday. The bummer was that it felt like there were fewer Maker Faire characters, the ones who come dressed up, fully into it. The ones who make it feel like Burning Man on pavement. Every year we pledge to return for both days the next year, but life gets in the way, this year in the form of softball playoffs. 

Lost in a light up forest that smelled like pot.

Combat gnomes!

My first computer looked just like this, without Woz's signature. 

Sadly, Eddie the Yeti did not go home with me...

...but we did take home a pet rock and an egg from NifNaks. We've bought something from Nifer's exhibit for the last two years. I love her work. 

There's a lot more to say about the Maker Faire, but it was, in one word, awesome. 

The Thursday I Thought was Wednesday

This week:

I met Buster Posey and Ryan Vogelsong, thanks to the Entertainment Software Rating Board. You know, the people who help you figure out whether or not that game your son is begging for has excessive violence or scantily clad women. Speaking of which, Costco had a bunch of DC Comic and Avenger encyclopedia books where I really got a good look at the women they draw and wonder how our kids will survive growing up exposed to nerd fantasy girl drawings and Cosmo. Barbie looks innocent in comparison. Back to Buster, it was unclear if we could ask for autographs or not, so I was sticking with the conservative camp while others asked, but then I went for it, because I knew how much my kids would love it. Buster Posey was incredibly kind and signed a magazine for each of them while I drowned in Catholic guilt over breaking the rules. I didn't ask Ryan Vogelsong for his autograph because I figured that breaking the rules twice was especially bad. I have some standards, however low. 

Our kitchen tile arrived! In five heavy boxes that the UPS man carried to our front door, even though I need them in the garage. I wasn't home and I felt awful for the extra lifting he had to do, yet Kevin pointed out that I felt no guilt over making my husband carry them back down to the garage at street level. This is because Kevin will get the heartwarming enjoyment of looking at the beautiful tiles painstakingly researched and lovingly selected by his wife. He should be thanking me. 

I had my first awkward construction moment when our builder showed up early, before I was dressed. He was outside of the house, next to my bedroom, but it was a reminder that our house is insulated with laundry lint because it sounded like he was in the room. I jumped and threw on my clothes. The countdown to the end of our privacy has begun. 

I got my arm hair lasered off. TMI? When my dermatologist offered a Groupon, it seemed like the universe was sending me a loud message and I took it. I was admonished for having a tan, an unmistakable farmer's tan from baseball watching, and was told to stop allowing my arms to tan this summer. Look for me at softball, baseball, and at the beach with leg warmers on my arms.

How to Send a Birthday Card Love Bomb

Today is my mom's 70th birthday, which seems downright youthful when expressed in dog years (490). She didn't want a party, which was fine because we threw her a giant 60th birthday ten years ago, where we used up the best theme available for an adult party: margaritas. It was also the party where we let her tell people that I was pregnant, which explained why I sat alone in the kitchen alternatively fighting nausea, then stuffing my face. 

This birthday we needed something different and created a birthday card love bomb. The impetus for the idea came from Jordan Ferney's postcard surprise idea, and while I thought that I could print a photo of my mom on the back of the postcards so that each one contained a section of the print, it didn't make sense. Trying to find the right photo to define 70 years would be next to impossible, plus, it would detract from the message side of the postcard, which is the meat of the project. 

We made a list of 70 friends and family members (excluding my dad, for secrecy reasons), and in late April, mailed them each an addressed and stamped postcard with a note asking them to share a memory, funny story, or birthday wish for my mom, and to mail them between May 4-9.* Her birthday is today, May 10, and the mail range made sure that she got some birthday love each day of the week leading up to the big event. 

Love bomb directions, ready to go.

We bought 70 size A6 note cards in Blush, 70 A6 envelopes in Strawberry, Strawberry printing paper, ink and 7, 0, and flourish frame stamps, all at Paper Source. We chose postcards because for many people, it can be daunting to look at a large empty piece of paper that needs to be filled. A postcard is short, sweet, and easily filled. After buying postcard and envelope stamps, we were ready to go. 

I stamped while my youngest sister addressed the postcards to my mom. I wrote up the note explaining how to participate, then stuffed and addressed the envelopes. We didn't tell our dad about it because he's not great at keeping secrets, but it's also hard to secretly get ahold of him as he rarely answers the phone and my mom compulsively checks caller ID. He's also the type of person who keeps his cell phone off until he needs to use it. The fact that people may be trying to reach him is of no concern to my dad. 

Only one person mailed her postcard early, but because it was only one, my mom didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until the second one arrived that she asked where people were finding this 70-stamped stationary. 

Our project cost just under $150, but could be done for less using materials already on hand or from a less expensive craft store. We're happy with the quality and outcome from the materials we used, which, while not cheap, is far less than throwing a party for all 70 friends and family, without any of the post-party clean up.

My mom loved the love bomb. She was touched by the notes, and one cousin even included some prime Giants tickets, making it the best birthday gift ever for my mom.  

*When googling the birthday surprise post, I found a similar adaptation in which the author asked for letters mailed to herself and she presented them to her dad on his birthday. It's another way to try this great idea. 

Books for a Nine Year Old Girl: Read by a Fourth Grader

People will often ask what Clover is reading and I stand there looking dumbfounded instead of responding. I have no idea what she's reading, which makes me look like the least involved, most permissive parent ever because she could be reading Fifty Shades of Grey, for all I know, but it is really because she goes through books so quickly that there are moments where I know what she's reading, but in a blink, she's moved on. 

Clover tears through books quickly, which makes purchases seem wasteful. Recently she saved her money to buy Big Nate, and the book arrived Monday night after softball and just before bed time, but was still finished by the time she returned home from school next day. It was finished in an 18 hour period that included sleep and school. If it had been the weekend, it would have been finished by lunch. Thank god for her library card.

We're proud library users, which means books can come and go with less parental review. Everything is from the young reader section, so it isn't FIfty Shades of Grey, but standards for books that come for free are much lower than for ones that need to be purchased. Last month I did buy books to cover our trip East (we don't travel with library books) and Easter gifts, so this is what I know she recently read:

Princess Knight, Part One - She loves manga and comics, plus the book has a female main character, making it a winner.

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane - This is where my lack of oversight cost me because she'd already read the book at school. When I told her I'd save it for her brother, she took it from me and read it again, probably just to claim ownership.

Half Magic - Pre-Harry Potter magic and wizardry.

The Silver Crown - Another old book about magical powers, this time via a mysterious crown.

Oddfellow's Orphanage - We love Emily's artistry (The Black Apple) and had to have this. 

A Whole Nother Story - A time machine, scientist dad, a psychic dog, and kids, all on the run from the CIA.

Arabel's Raven - Funny book about a girl and a crazy raven. I think the NFL team was named after this book.*

Savvy - Each member of this family receives a super power on their thirteenth birthday. This book has won a bunch of awards, and it looks good enough that I'll likely pick this when it's our turn to suggest a book for our Mother-Daughter book club. 

Darth Paper Strikes Back - This is the second in a very cute series. I bought the first book about Yoda thinking it was strickly an oragami book. Clover loved it anyway.

*Belief not based on facts. 

Permits Be Damned, We Have Tile

We finally have something positive to report on the home front: our building permits will be submitted tomorrow! The sad thing is this really shouldn't be news, but after months of delay and mental duress I'd only read about in news stories about places like Cambodia, San Mateo County is finally allowing us to move forward, only to stop there because the county has a six week lead time on building permits. It's the old hurry up and wait, but at least we've reached this point. To celebrate, I ordered tile. 

I picked out our backsplash tile months ago when I first saw a picture on a builder's blog or on Pinterest, it all runs together. I couldn't let go of the idea of a white kitchen with Mococcan tile, but when I went to order it a few weeks ago, I couldn't find it anywhere. Our local tile company sells it with a 90 day lead time, but they couldn't give me an estimate on the price because the tile was so new, they didn't have a price in their system. I turned to the internet, home of great deals, but worrisome shipping when it comes to porcelian tile. By this time, the tile was out every place I'd bookmarked except two - one with really bad reviews, and the other more than double the price at other places. I waited, nervously. When Home Depot got it back in stock online, I pounced. Let's hope it arrives in only the appropriate number of pieces. 

Planning a Retreat for Lost Marbles

The other day I decided that I need to go on a personal retreat. It feels like there's a ton of exterior noise preventing me from becoming my best self, which is a phrase that must be trademarked by Oprah. There's so much to do, so much noise, and so much measuring up that everything feels chaotic, complicated, and pretty defeating. This list doesn't include pop up ads or Twitter parties, both of which are pushing me over the edge. It's times like these when I want to give almost everyone the bird.

Today is the first day in forever that I've been able to stay home, without appointments, errands or kids' activities calling me away, so I optimistically thought this was my day, but I forgot to clear that with the dog, who went crazy. She barked at the wind all morning, she wanted out, she wanted in, again and again, she was caught off guard by the gardener, so then she overcompensated by barking at everything, for hours, despite my reassurance, yelling, and use of a Nerf gun. Much like when my kids were babies, just when I thought I'd snap, the dog finally took a nap and let me have a little bit of the day/sanity back.

There are frequent mountain lion sightings in our area, but none of them ever come into our yard hungry.

But back to the retreat...I told this idea to a friend last week and she responded that she has a friend who does this quarterly. Four times a year, she heads to the Ritz or other nice destinations by herself. This week, I told another friend, and she too knows someone who does the same thing. Clearly these people are onto something. I quickly started looking at Groupon for nearby vacation deals that I could use toward a retreat, but everything either looked like it would be fun for the kids, or was a place I'd rather go with Kevin. Not to mention, the next two months are totally slammed, which is why I need a retreat, but the stress of trying to get away alone would only make things worse. I should have come up with idea a month ago. I need to write myself a note so that I don't forget it.

The barking is back. Serenity now!