Tippy Toes and Tantrums

The Late June Happies

Two things made me happy today:

A little boy offering me his wish.

Talking for so long on the phone with a friend that the only option for dinner is to eat out.

 

And I didn't even wish for lobster.

Dinner Out(side)

The kids love eating dinner outside. They sit and eat, then when they've eaten enough, they run to the playstructure while Kevin and I watch their antics as we finish our meals.

It took forever to really start eating outside. When we first moved in, it was so hot on our back deck that we'd rather eat inside our hot house because that way the sun wasn't bearing down on us. Then we put in a pergola, but the sun still came in from the side, directly onto some of the seats. I added drapes to the pergola, which really add a romantic effect and they successfully block out the direct sunlight. I love them. But after that, we had a nearby hornets nest that made eating outside impossible. For some reason, it's all come together this summer and it is finally exactly as I'd imagined. 

The Best Mocha, Mayfield Bakery

Sunday morning breakfast out with two well behaved kids and the best mocha ever? Rare perfection.

Planting the Seeds to Raise Smart Cyber Citizens

Sometimes it takes having an event occur to finally drive home a lesson. I've sat in on numerous internet safety talks, all of them were excellent and full of tips, but I thought internet safety was something to think about in the future because my kids are so young and have so little time on the computer. Rocket doesn't have any computer time, so he's definitely not a worry, and there's not much trouble Clover can get in during her few trips to pbskids.org.

Not long after one of these internet safety talks, Clover asked to use the computer to visit a website that she heard about from her classmates. It's the website for these little toys they collect (or collected, as the phase seems to be dying out), which I had looked at before and knew to be safe. When Clover uses the computer, it's always a laptop that I place on our dinner table, purposefully in a central location, allowing me to keep an eye on the screen. She started laughing, which was odd because I didn't think there was anything funny on the site. When I asked what was so funny, she said, "people made movies" with the little toys. I walked over and noticed she was on YouTube. My heart stopped.

Luckily the little toy-based videos she saw were completely age appropriate, but I still freaked out on the inside while casually asking how she ended up on this site. What I hadn't seen on the company website was a link to related videos on YouTube. YouTube scares me because it is so easy to start off watching kid-safe videos, only to end up at completely inappropriate videos from one suggested video to another. Another place for concern is the YouTube comments. As pointed out by Marian Merritt, Norton's internet safety advocate, a comment could say, "If you like this video, then you'll love this," with a link to porn. She knows because she's seen this happen with a comment under a clip of an Anne Hathaway movie. While the user may think the link lead to more Anne Hathaway clips, it actually led to gay porn. Like most kids, Clover is click happy, which concerns me where she could end up, regardless of how innocent her intentions.

I talked to Clover about how it's not okay with me if she leaves a site we'd agreed upon and that the site YouTube also contains videos that aren't okay for children to see, which is why I don't want her there without me. She nodded and agreed, but I knew what I said was somewhat over her head, especially the word "site" or how she would know where one site ends and another begins. Links out look just as much a part of a website than any other page, so how could she know the difference?

First up is to educate her about the url line. She is already aware of the line because she told a friend that she figured out that since this toy's website or the PBS Kids website were basically the name of the thing dot something, usually dot com, any word could be added to this line, and once a dot com was added, off you went on a new adventure. Sometimes critical thinking takes her beyond where we are ready for her to go.

One way is to explain that the url line, for instance where it says tippytoesandtantrums.typepad.com, is where we are at. When that line changes, think of it as our location changing. Catherine Teitelbaum, director of child safety from Yahoo! used a great analogy for explaining this to kids: think of the url as a playground. Clover may start out at one playground, but when the words in the url line change, the playground changes. At a real playground, it wouldn't be okay for Clover to walk off to another playground without checking with me first. Treat the internet the same way. If the url changes, she needs to check with me.

Of course, her use of the internet and how it's regulated at home will evolve as she gets older. Continuing to talk about rules, usage and what makes me uncomfortable will help. As Catherine Teitelbaum noted, everyone in the family benefits when you're all on the same page. In the meantime, we'll also install Norton Online Family's Safety Minder on all of our computers. (It's free!) Not only will it help block our kids from sites we don't like, but it will also help monitor time. The program can restrict internet use during certain times, days or set an overall time limit, say two hours a week. Keeping the computer at the dinner table helps me monitor things now, but being able to remotely monitor my kids' use will become more critical in the future, when laptops and mobile devices make relying solely on over the shoulder monitoring insufficient.

Just like Yahoo! recommends a family chat, Symantec (which owns Norton) recommends talking to your kids about monitoring software - why it's there, what your concerns are, what you are watching for, etc. Everything should be out in the open. Especially because the Norton program lets the users know when a site is blocked or when their use time is up.

As my kids get older, we'll talk more about their digital reputations and making sure the info they put on the web is something they are comfortable with everyone knowing because it will be there forever. They won't be allowed to keep their cell phones in their rooms at night. They don't need their sleep interrupted more, there are low levels of radiation emitted, so putting a phone under a pillow is a small, but unncessary exposure, plus as it was pointed out by Symantec experts, stuff happens at night. Also, not sharing passwords, being careful what they forward, ignoring bullies or mean people and telling an adult if they see anything that scares them or that they think is inappropriate. By that time, I'll have to hold the same talk with my parents, who as seniors are just as likely to face problems online. Maybe I can let my kids give the talk about being safe online to my parents.

A Third Party for a Fourth Birthday

Between a family party, a school party, and a friends party, I am partied out. Rocketman has fully rung in age four and I'm ready to move on with my life. 

Rocket is super cool. He's friendly, upbeat, athletic, and he knows how to use his single dimple to manipulate women. I will never worry about him having enough friends, male or female. He's got that beer-commerical-buddy-style casualness about him already. The other day we walked by a kid about his age, Rocket gave a little chin nod to the kid and said, "Hey man." I do not know where he picks up half of the things he says, but he frequently makes me laugh.

There is still plenty for a mama to worry about, though. Rocket's crazy, a risk taker, and will do anything for a laugh. He loves blood, wants to be a blood doctor, but wants to go to punching school too, because he loves punching. My fear is that he wants to be an ultimate fighter, saving a seat for me cage-side. Slightly less troubling is his dream of playing football. He tells me all the time that he's going to be a football player, always said in a calm, reassuring way, as if he knows he's passing along bad news. "I'm going to play for a football team called the Bears and you WILL cheer, 'Go Bears!'" He's told me this several times, when he's not yelling "HIKE!" before running full speed and trying to tackle our couch. If not a fighter or a football player, Rocket wants to be a fireman. Not one of his career aspirations allow me any room to relax. What about a research doctor? Have you thought about something safe like that, kid? I doubt it.

There is never a dull moment with Rocket around. I love this kid.

Today's Fun Thing Needs to be a Regular Thing

After both camp drop offs and a coffee run, I took 15 minutes to sit outside and clear my mind. I focused on my breathing while I tried to push everything else out of my mind.

If only someone would silence that barking dog.

Ice Cream and Cubes

The other day the kids complained that they never get ice cream, and while it's an exaggeration, they really don't eat ice cream very much. Today I surprised them with little ice creams as a post camp snack. Rocket scarfed his down fast, but Clover tried to save hers. Until I reminded her of the obvious fact that ice cream melts and she'd soon own a milkshake with chunks of peanut brittle instead.

The package that arrived yesterday had a return address that meant nothing to me. When I opened the box, I was so excited to see a nicer box with ribbon inside. Ribbon is surely the sign of good things to come, right? It was. I got a little summer gift from Starbucks. I was so overjoyed by getting a gift in the midst of a stressful day that I didn't even notice it came with a Starbucks gift card too. Even better.

It's a tumbler to make and hold VIA iced coffee. You can make iced coffee with regular VIA, but the one sold as "Iced Coffee" comes lightly sweetened. I can't wait to try it, assuming the weather cooperates and summer eventually shows up. I will definitely bring it along on the Fourth Annual Moms and Kids Camping Trip in August.

The kids fought over the plastic cubes, each begging me to let them take turns packing them in their lunches. As if. 

Disclosure: Obviously the Starbucks stuff was sent to me for free. There was no request to write about it or review it.

Ladies First

The first day of the iPhone 4 preorders, Kevin woke up early, promising to order for both of us. He doesn't have a smart phone and my phone is old and ready for an upgrade. We'd been waiting for this day for months. He told me he was having trouble getting through, but I had a feeling he'd keep trying at work. I was right, he kept trying and he finally got through on the AT&T site to order himself a new phone. At some point he decided I should order my own phone, but that was only communicated to me when he called that afternoon to ask if I'd gotten through on the Apple site. Why? I asked. No, I was busy at home, working, dealing with the kids, making dinner and doing laundry. All at the same time. He gloated about his order, but said I may still be able to get through.

Sometime after dinner, I called up the Apple website and my order went through without a problem. I got a confirmation the next morning, he did not. I got a notice that mine had shipped, he did not. I got notice that mine was coming a day early, he finally found his ready to ship. His went around the country, mine came direct. Mine showed up at 9:30 a.m. His delivery tracking said his would arrive by 3 p.m., even though it was still in Tennessee. We don't live near Tennessee. A truck pulled up, followed by a knock at the door. It was UPS with another package for me. Three o'clock came and went, his tracking suddenly did not give an estimated delivery date.

He may claim this is just a supply/customer service glitch with AT&T, but I know better. This is karma, baby.

Surprise Sprinklers, Fun for All

It's hot and we're all tired. We hadn't done anything fun today - other than camp, but that's not out of the ordinary. After piano lessons, the kids were grumbling on the back lawn, fighting over the swing, then arguing some more. With one swift move on the deck, I flipped on the sprinklers. The kids heard the initial "chhhh" as the sprinkler heads raised, looked at each other, then started screaming. They ran around for 20 minutes, squealing and having the best of fun. I programmed the sprinklers to change stations, so the origin of the spray changed up on them every few minutes.

They are still out there, having a great time. And I'll admit, turning the sprinklers on my unsuspecting kids as they bickered was pretty awesome. Dumping water on them worked better than a time out. We will do this again.

Product Review: Backyard Safari Outfitters

Rocket wandered over as I opened the package, slightly interested in what was inside. Once I pulled out the Backyard Safari Outfitters gear, he went crazy. He made me help him into the cargo vest before I opened anything else. Once on, he said he was an explorer and he set out to conquer our family room. He was an explorer until his sister got home from school and demanded her turn with the vest. He then zipped around with the bug vacuum, while she held the periscope and vice-versa.

My kids have seen the Backyard Safari Outfitters line in Target and they'd always ask for different components, but I always told them to wait for their birthdays, which worked out because the package arrived the week before Rocket's birthday. The Backyard Safari Outfitters line also includes a giant magnifier, which I saw at the store and though about buying for the kids, but when I went back for it a few days later, they had sold out. I wasn't the only one who thought a huge magnifier was cool.

The toys are sturdy. Kevin actually thought I'd ordered the periscope from the company who made our playstructure. The colors match the telescope on our playstructure and the periscope is just as solid. I'm really impressed by the quality.

Rocket's used the bug vacuum to suck up a Daddy Long Legs, which surprisingly has helped him get over his fear of spiders. He loves examining bugs, so the magnifying element of the vacuum is great, but the kid is freaked out by Daddy Long Legs, so being able to gently suck them up from a slight distance is empowering to him. Although he needs help with the outdoor release part, so he's not completely over his fear.

One week later, the kids still play with the toys. The vest and accompanying booklet allow Rocket to pretend to be Diego, exploring the jungle and in search of animals in trouble. Rocket's never really taken to much "dress up" clothes, other than his Spiderman Halloween costume, but he likes the vest and it's ramped up his imaginative play.

Over all, the toys were a complete success!

Disclosure: Backyard Safari Outfitters sent the cargo vest, mega view periscope and bug vacuum for free, asking for an honest review of likes and dislikes.