Tippy Toes and Tantrums

Flip Flops of Death

Look out geese, you're next! (The geese are better guards than dogs. Seriously.)

As the garage door crept upward, the kids spotted a spider on the ground, scurrying around.

"It's a Black Widow!" Clover shrieked, always one to jump to the scariest possible scenario.

"I'm scared," Rocket yelled as he hid behind my legs.

I stepped on it with my flip flop and the crowd cheered for me like I was a war hero. "We're safe! You did it!" Rocket kissed my right leg, the one he'd been clinging to. "Brave mommy," he said.

Fast forward to school as we walked to Clover's classroom when the back of my flip flop accidentally landed on a roly poly. A roly poly who already seemed particularly lifeless, I might add.

"YOU SQUISHED THE ROLY POLY! How COULD you DO that?" Rocket cried.

"He's dead!" Clover mourned.

I'd quickly gone from hero to murderer. There's a fine line there and unwittingly I crossed it with my flip flops.

Growing Up Online

The feet of a hard playing kid.

"Do I look my best?" Clover asked from the bathroom, where she was standing in front of the mirror, admiring herself as she combed out her wet hair.

"Um? Yes." She looked as good as possible for a kid who just stepped out of the bathtub. Kevin whispered that Clover had turned down the bubblegum scented foam soap because she wanted to "smell her best" too. For a kid who plays hard on a dirt covered playground, bubblegum soap is smelling her best, but I didn't want to ask why or what this was about.

Kevin knew. "She wants to look her best for (a boy in her class)."

I stopped breathing.

Things happen when you're least expecting them, but coincidentally this came when related issues were coming at me. Clover has been pressing for online time and we've been allowing her a little room. This Spring we let her play on Dreambox Learning, which was fun for her and totally safe for all of us. Then as soon as school got out, she participated in a test of pbskids.org, playing around with parts of their site, which made her interest in the internet grow. She's also started to notice that everything, from television shows to cereal boxes have urls on them and being a curious (and naive!) kid, she wants to visit them all. This happened all at once, just as we wanted to put a cyber playpen around the very, very few sites we find appropriate for her.

The Yahoo! Motherboard - a panel I participate in - recently asked that we consider a post on internet safety with children in mind, even including topics such as sexting. Gulp. I'd like to ignore all of this, but I know that's me being naive.

We are pretty paranoid in general, but especially when it comes to internet safety. I've seen how Clover has played on a safe site, but then through a few mis-clicks, ended up somewhere very far from where she intended (luckily it's usually the Apple store, which is safe as long as I keep my credit cards away from her). But what if it was a less safe site? What if it was a kid-friendly site that had been co-opted by questionable adults? It feels so overwhelming and while heavy topics like sexting and recording yourself doing stupid things, like sending a scantily clad picture in an email, are still a ways off, they will be here before I know it. It's easier to weed the garden as the young, weaker weeds pop up, rather than wait until the yard is full of prickly, waist high weeds. With that approach, I want to teach Clover about safety each small step of the way.

Now that she's officially online, I'll start following cyber safety tips and tools much closer. Coincidentally last week when I was sick, I missed a press availability from Disney, showing off Netpal (coming this Fall), which is a simple laptop that lets parents control everything, even setting timers on the computer that turn if off after a specified amount of time. Products like that give me some confidence because even though I am near Clover when she's on the computer, I can get distracted and lose track of time.

Kevin thinks I'm fooling myself if I doubt that our children will each have their own laptops when they get older (and he doesn't mean college, which is what I'd like to imagine). With the advent of smart phones, it seems even less likely that they'll need a laptop. The internet will be in their purse or pocket, making it nearly impossible to watch what they are doing over their shoulders.

The other day I took the kids out to lunch and a dad and his 10 year old daughter sat down at the table next to us. Both had their phones out texting away until finally the dad texted the daughter "hello." (The girl said "Hello? Did you really have to text me 'hello?'" Which is how I knew what had happened.) The whole thing was pathetic and sad and a huge reminder to not take out my phone when spending time with my kids.

It would be easy to say no internet and leave it at that, but while the internet is full of time-sucks, there are a lot of educational sites out there for kids. Clover doesn't get to watch much tv and she doesn't get to play video games, so allowing her to play, say a math-based game on the internet, seems like a decent compromise. It works for now, at least.

Baby steps. To me she looks like a little girl, combing out her tangle-free hair after a bath, but she looks in the mirror and sees something else, someone older and more mature. I need to keep up with her because there is one thing we agree upon: she's not a baby anymore.

Trash/Treasure, Dream/Nightmare

If only I could hang this sign over my head and have people pass me by.*

Several kids in Clover's class were hit by a stomach bug in the last week of school, which is a time when no one wants to miss a minute of classroom time. The kids don't want to miss the fun and the parents don't want to have to deal with a child at home days before a long summer break. The last week of school and the week afterward as I prepped for Rocket's party, I kept repeating "Do not get sick, do not get sick." After Rocket's birthday weekend, sickness would be no problem, I reasoned, but before that, a sickness would derail everything.

Of course this means the day after Rocket's birthday I was hit with the stomach bug, which I think may be the swine flu. Can you hear Kevin laughing? Well, I have all the symptoms! It makes sense! Although 48 hours later, I'm starting to feel hopeful that soon I will have enough strength to support myself upright for more than a few minutes straight.

I cannot remember the last time I had a fever. I had Kevin walking a loop between me and the freezer, re-freshening the ice packs I had on my head, legs and wrists. (I used to laugh at the number of boo boo packs I'd bought for the kids and the space they consumed in our freezer, but boy did they ever come in handy.)

While I suffered in bed, Rocket lived out what he'd probably consider the two best days of his life, all because the TV has not been turned off since Tuesday morning. He's watched Diego marathons, followed by everything on Noggin, while lounging in his pajamas. His diet has consisted mostly of Pirate's Booty and juice. It's a three year old's paradise.

I'm optimistic that everything will be back to normal again tomorrow, which means Rocket is going to have the worst withdrawals. Getting clean is never easy.

*Rocket was entranced by a display at the Exploratorium and after a few minutes, I looked inside to see what was so interesting. I don't know if he thought he could wait out the "temporarily" or if he thought the sign was particularly remarkable.

So This is Three

My baby is three! After months of correcting me that he was a big boy and not a baby, he's decided to accept the baby label after all, using it to justify continuing to wear diapers and use a sippy cup. "I'm a baby," he'll remind me. "I need a baby cup." Did I mention that he's incredibly clever and a tad manipulative?

I've often wished that I was more like Rocket. He has a great spirit and is quick to laugh, letting troubles or pain frequently roll off his back with a laugh. He's always laughing, often sardonically, and he uses his single dimple masterfully as a weapon. It's really hard to be mad at him when he turns on the dimple and gives a little laugh.

One of his most endearing qualities is that he still lets him mama snuggle and kiss him. Times when he reaches for my hand are the highlights of my days. I can't bear to think of an age when he'll be too old for all of this and I don't want to imagine the day when all of the love and affection for me is given to another girl.

Daily, I remind him that he'll always be my baby, even when he finally stops wearing diapers and is long past sippy cups, he will still be my little baby. There are two things I know for sure about my future with Rocket: 1. he will always be able to make me laugh; and 2. my hair will be completely grey by the time he graduates college.

Credit for the birthday bottles and bags goes to my friend Jo-Ann at Pumpkin Petunia, who is a genius, and the graphic is courtesy of Evite.

Knees and Booty

Clover began the week - our first full week of summer break - by saying Rocket's "too much for me today." She summed up how I've felt about both of them every day this week. There are so many intertwined things that I need to post about (PBS, PBS Kids website, kids online in general), but on top of the one trillion things I need to do this week, Rocket's birthday trumps all. I've got a party to somehow throw together this weekend that has a negotiated theme of dogs and Diego. The party probably requires food more intricate than a bowl of Pirate's Booty, but it's not clear that will happen.

I've had two kids for almost three years now, but this week feels like my first week of juggling two kids together. I'm either breaking up fights or cleaning one mess, while they are conspiring to create a bigger mess in another room. Laundry is behind to the point that Clover took notice, saying, "Who does the laundry? Someone needs to do some laundry around here because my hamper's overflowing." Apparently the girl thinks little fairies do her laundry while she's not looking. This may explain why my mother's day was lame.

The day before the end of school, the kids in Clover's class each took home a giant Crayola sidewalk chalk. Our carpool-mate walked out of the classroom door first, holding his pink (he insists red) chalk up with two hands and yelled, "Kim, look what I got." I hadn't seen the chalk before and with the tip broken off, it looked nothing like a crayon.

"Um, what is that?" I nervously responded and the mom to my right quickly said, "Great! Now you've made my mind go straight to the gutter."

Here's Clover's green chalk. Draw your own conclusion about what pink resembles.

We left the house yesterday to run some errands and with my arms full of Rocket's traveling companions (drink, snack and two lovies), I stepped off our top step and was suddenly airborne, feet up, ass backwards. I yelled "OH MY GOD!" so loud on the way down that my next door neighbor paused her car as she backed out of her driveway. My padded ass broke the fall, but I managed to twist my knee and ankle a little - I can walk fine, but it twisted enough to throb for hours. I looked down to see that I'd stepped on the giant sidewalk chalk left in the walkway. Immediately noticing my gaze, Clover yelled out that Rocket left the chalk there. I picked up the chalk and tried to make the kids feel guilty about how I could have broken my neck. Finally I tossed the chalk aside.

"You didn't have to throw it down like that!" Rocket barked.

"I didn't throw it down hard and don't you understand I could have really hurt myself?!"

"You could have broken the chalk" was his response.

I can't wait for summer camp to begin.

It Tastes Sunny

From this

to this

to this.

Summer is here, even if the weather mostly resembles fall.

Summer Enrichment

School's out. What better time than summer break to teach kids to fly a jet? It was that or Yo Gabba Gabba.

It was a little ambitious to learn to fly a jet in a single day, so Rocket moved onto something smaller.

He flew this plane pretty erratically too, at one point even yelling out, "I'm going to CRASH!" This caused a concerned toddler nearby to start shrieking, "IT'S SCARY! IT'S SCARY HERE!"

Rocket decided to try the smallest airplane ride on toy in the room, but as he got on, a much bigger boy (maybe seven years old), took the bigger plane right next to it, but unbeknownst to the older boy, his plane overlapped with Rocket's, locking Rocket's ride into an unmovable position. Rocket took it as a highly aggressive act and he popped off his ride, crouched a little, pointed at the boy and with a deep voice yelled, "LOOK OUT!" The older boy was shocked and then kind of scared by little Rocket. I said it was time to go, and as a parting shot, Rocket - still pointing! - gave the boy a growly "watch it!" as he walked by. The older boy looked thoroughly intimidated.

One trip to the air museum and the kid is ready for Top Gun. Mission Accomplished.

School's Out for Summer

Cubbies cleaned out for the first time in nine months.

Another year of school has come to an end. There was so much joy and chaos at the very end that I forgot to say goodbye to all of my friends. While I was busy trying to impress the finality of it all onto Clover, I didn't get to really say goodbye myself. Which is fine, really, because between birthday parties and summer school, goodbye isn't for very long. Still, I was denied the end-of-the-school-year melodramatic goodbyes, promising to stay in touch and asking people to "stay sweet" or "don't go changing!" as was written ad infinitum in the yearbooks of yore. Forget Clover, this is really about me, right?

We tried to start a new tradition this year by going with friends for milkshakes after school, but the adults quickly learned that taking 10 hyped up kids out for milkshakes isn't the best way to mark the occasion. Next year a picnic at a park sounds much more manageable. Especially if I bring ear plugs.

The Mean Grean Cleaning Machine

There is always that one day when everyone seems to be having a birthday party, plus a recital and maybe a BBQ along with a sporting event. A day with enough activity to fill a month. We had one of those over scheduled days recently that would have had us going from one event to the other when we received an invitation to a party with Bill Nye the Science Guy at The Tech Museum. The invitation set off the nerd signal in our house and suddenly everything was dropped in favor of Bill Nye.

The event for Silicon Valley Moms Bloggers was sponsored by Activeion, promoting their novel method for cleaning without chemicals by ionizing regular tap water. Bill Nye used his hands on science approach, running fun experiments to explain how the Activeion works.

The kids had great fun and they got to meet Bill Nye, which made their nerdy dad's heart burst with pride. If Clover listed the highlights, she would also mention that she got her own bag of chips and her own (undiluted) bottle of apple juice at the lunch following the talk. I had not before realized how little it takes to impress Clover until she was blown away by getting her own tiny bag of Sun Chips.

The kids and Kevin spent the rest of the day exploring The Tech Museum, where they especially loved the simulated earthquake machine, while I left for another event.

I finally had some time to check out the Activeion, which couldn't be easier and the lower part of the bottle lights up green as it works, attracting the kids to it. It worked really well on sticky spills on my kitchen floor - one spray and everything would wipe up easily - and I tried to test it out on the dirtiest part of our windows, only to realize once outside that the reason those parts are so dirty is because they are difficult to reach. The Activeion was no match for my laziness. I wasn't about to drag a ladder outside to see how well it works. I refocused my test on the inside of the house and our filthy seat cushions. Our cleaning lady and I repeatedly scrub these seats, but nothing changes. I'd been thinking about getting our carpets cleaned, just to get the seats cleaned too.

Before, full of mashed in yogurt:

(for the record, the seat cushions only came in black, plus we bought them pre-Rocket)

After:

The main spill is much lighter and it didn't take much effort to get it to this point.

The exciting/gross part, for me:

I was excited enough to clean all of the cushions and after how well it did with almost all stains, I plan to try it on my car upholstery when I get a chance.

What this spray bottle does to tap water is pretty amazing and very cool. Not only does it clean, but it kills 99% of harmful bacteria. We were each given a commercial sized bottle, but we were told that a smaller household size is in development, which would be extremely helpful as I assume the price on a smaller bottle would be less prohibitive. (The current bottle sells for $299.) When water can make my counter tops shine as much as Windex, I'm happy.

For Love of Fall

Greens at the end of the year potluck

Like usual, things went a little off the rails this week, as they do toward the end of the school year. Instead of describing the Bill Nye event from last weekend, I've been dealing with the end of the year at two schools, cleaning, party planning and searching high and low for a lost gift receipt.

There was also the unforeseen joy of explaining a DUI to the carpool kids as we watched a guy who was about to be arrested blow into a breathalyzer as we drove to school at 9 a.m. Friday morning. Sure we were a few minutes late to school, but that was a lesson to last a lifetime...for me. I never should have honestly answered the first question of "What are they doing to that guy?" Once I stepped out on the slippery slope, the kids peppered me with questions. It was a moment where I wanted to tell our carpool friend to save the questions for his parents because if we're talking DUIs in first grade, what will be left for discussion in second grade? I expect that the next time this kid's parents have a glass of wine, he will be calling them impaired and they will be calling me to ask what the hell I taught their child.

Panic is starting to set in while thinking about the end of the school year. Only 2.5 days of school remain and while every teacher I know is bursting with excitement and eating a small piece of chocolate every day counting down like its Advent, my anxiety is growing. Clover is signed up for six weeks of summer session, which will help a great deal, but our school carpool will not be happening because my friend could not convince her kids to take as many summer session classes as I roped Clover into taking. (Don't cry for Clover, she's taking arts and crafts, Spanish, gardening, small farm animal care - this is the hippie school, after all - and newspaper production.) Which means I'll be spending most of my days in the car, which has one upside: air conditioning. Also Rocket is strapped down in the car, so there are really two benefits.

Rocket, at home in Clover's class yard

But then there are the other weeks, the almost eight weeks, of two kids around the house begging for entertainment. Clover spends most of her free times reading, which should help my anxiety, but I know that Clover's reading agitates Rocket. He heckles her, then screams while watching her read because he cannot handle having a possible playmate sit there unused. I already spend 78% of my day playing catch, which will not change much, except at the same time I'll probably be helping Clover spell complicated words like "intoxicated" for her DUI prevention comic book.

To help ease us into summer, we ordered a fancy juicer scheduled to arrive on Wednesday. So while it may be hot and crazy, there will be fresh margaritas.